yeah, i suppose i will start back up with the whole posting buisness. wooo. fun stuff.
my week has been mediocre. i wish i could have got to spend more time with my friends... but yeah, life sucks and i guess i need to get used to it. i went to inglemoor today. bad mistake. i ripped open a few wounds that were probably better left scarred. i feel bad and like i wasted time going to see people i will never ever see again for only ten minutes. gah. and the whole laser show thAng... no. it's to much trouble and i seem to be the only one who wants to do it and anyone who knows me knows i suck at planning. so... no. unless someone else wants to plan it, no. if you really want to do something with me then call me and we will chill... otherwise im just going to sit back and quit. i give up.
fwah!

omg, you couldn't possibly fathom how wonderful my life has been going lately. i love everyone. i really do.

lalalala, i haven't posted in a while and i feel bad but i don't feel like writing. i have been really really busy lately and i know no one cares so i won't bother you with all the nonsense. if you want to know what's going on in my life then give me a call. in the mean time, until i get back into the writing mood this site is going to be idle for a while. =)

i screwed up the last post with my amazing html abilities...

i have given up music. why? because i am becoming to attached to it and it is begining to take over. everything i do i do it with music and every thought i have is about music and it is becoming something that i don't want it to be. when i write i draw infrences from music and when i talk i do the same. i need to have my own thoughts and ideas and not just reshaped ones i heard on the radio. no more radio and no more cd's. but the band is okay because that is a place whedre i can express myself through my own originality (if that's a word).

you may dissagree (i know one person that will) but i really don't care. it's something kinda deep down that makes no sense to anyone but me.

im getting voice lessons. so i won't sound like me anymore =D im in a band now. i don't know what they are called. i was kicked out of underqualified sheep, sadly.
i believe that i will update are you there

don't mind the post below... just needed somewhere to store that.

my life is changing... but don't worry, it's for the better. there are so many thoughts going on within my mind that i can't seem to put them into words. i write all this amazing stuff that i would love to share, but i am not quite ready to expose that piece of me to the three people that read this. and again, there is something different about me that i would love to tell everyone about. something that i hold dear to my heart and something that has done the majority of change in my life. to all the people in washington.... especially nicole... i have not changed as a person to where you would not enjoy my company any longer (i hope) but i am not different in that i have aquired all these new ideals to which i find are much more beneficial to my life and mental stability.

to tell the truth, i cannot collect my thoughts to make any sense so i am going to stop before you get to worried. i will try again later or maybe you can tell the difference the next time you see me. then again, there might not even be an outward change because it is more inward. ramble ramble ramble...

it must be nice to be able to talk correctly and it must be nice to be able to express your thoughts....

The desert is beautiful... sand as far as the eye can see. It's high-noon and the sun is high in the sky. It is very hot, but as the animals you can find refuge in shade of a bolder or a tree. It being the night after one of the few rains the desert recieves EVERYTHING is in bloom. The many flowers compliment the plainess of the the sand all around. There are few animals in sight but the ones about are amazing. Birds, lizards, snakes, the list goes on.... It is desolate here, but very calming. The silence allows me time to collect my thoughts and reflect upon myself.

The cube lies half buried in the sand. I stumbled upon it by chance. It is made of intertwined wood and small enough to fit into my pocket. The wood is natural colored with no stain or paint. It is smooth and heavy enough to conclude that it is solid. It gives me a sense of joy... the kind a child gets upon discovering a shiny quater on the ground or an adult gets when finding a twenty in a pair of jeans. It has been sanded so smooth that it almost shines. It makes me wonder to whom did it belong and what it is doing sitting in the middle of the desert. Wonder, Joy, Happiness, Completion and Surprise.

The ladder was nowhere near the cube. It is very misplaced within the desert bring on again a sense of wonder and curiosity of why it would be in the desert. The ladder is wood and propped up against a catus. The ladder is almost as tall as the catus but a little shorter and is 10 rungs high.

The horse was tied to the ladder. It was a a beautiful quarter horse. Mahogany colored with a white star on its forehead. A long, flowing tail and a long, beautiful mane. The horse was eating from a trough that lay in reach. It seemed content with the situation at hand and happy to see me as i was happy to see it. It did not have a saddle or bridle and was tied to the ladder with a rope made from string.

The storm was a great sand storm. Luckily, I was able to see it before it reached me. It is far off in the distance but seems to be traveling in my direction. It does not affect the cube because the cube in safe in my pocket. The horse was not affected because I rode it to a safe location that sheltered us from the storm. the ladder was left propped against the catus because i believe someone might need it more than i. I left the ladder and did not see how it faired but it's futile because a ladder made of wood is not as important as a horse and not as easily transported as the cube.

I already described the flowers, but in detail there are many. This is because it is the day after the big rain. The flowers are all around... so in relation to the cube, ladder, horse and storm they surround everything. They are all colors of the rainbow but the reds, yellows, and pinks stand out the most and are the most vibrant of them all.

The desert represents life. The cube represents myself. The ladder represents my friends. The horse represents my future lover. The flowers represent my family.